Far Afield in Search of Riches -- A Merchant Generator

 

     Trade is the lifeblood of civilization. Almost no community is capable of being fully self-sufficient. Aside from mere survival, even the most mean and severe of peoples have desires beyond those which can be found in their immediate surroundings. The solution to this conundrum has been the same the world over: the Merchant. Risking life, limb, and their own prosperity, merchants and other traders set out across the world to find a need and fill it. Profit demands no less of them, and penury is the fate who fail

     Who doesn’t need to come up with occasional merchant on the fly? From weird player interactions and desires, to a need to sell something important in a pinch to fill a particular need, the tables below can help give a framework to build off of quickly. Simply roll 4d8 and consult the tables below.

1d8	Where are they from?
1	Far, far away. So far that you may not have even heard of it.
2-4	From across the continent.
5-7	From a neighboring kingdom or state.
8	Your own homeland.

1d8	What are they selling?
1	Raw materials like timber, ores, or unworked stone.
2	Something illegal or heinous in nature such as slaves, harmful drugs, or stolen goods.
3	Weapons, armor, and other accouterments of war.
4	Cattle such as cows, horses, or something even more exotic.
5	Fine goods such as carpets, jewels, or silks.
6	Exotic raw goods such as medicinal plants, rare preserved fruits, or ivory.
7	Information. This could take the form of rumors and hearsay, but more likely books, maps, or scrolls.
8	Services. They could be actors, tinkers, or traveling laborers.

1d8	What is their demeanor, along with the bargains they strike?
1	Honest and forthright.
2	Misleading and exploitative.
3	Harsh and stand-offish. Fair.
4	Kind but ultimately unyielding.
5	Eccentric, impressed by strange or otherwise unique goods.
6	Criminal, actively seeking to fleece.
7	Quibbling and endlessly desiring to haggle.
8	Easily fooled and equally easily agitated.

1d8	How do they defend themselves?
1-3	Mercenary guards. Heavily armed and armored.
4-5	The prestige of their tradehouse or guild. Being blacklisted by them would be ruinous.
6	Great, ferocious beasts trained to kill on a word from their handlers
7	Mystical wards or shields which can be activated to keep attackers at bay.
8	Magically animated wagons which roll and smash attackers by their own accord.

Hi! I’m alive! I know it has been a few years. Life got in the way for me for a bit, but I’m hoping to start providing you all with content again. Thanks for reading.

A Rusted, Ruined Crowd -- A Hero Generator.

“No more terrible disaster could befall your people than for them to fall into the hands of a Hero.” - Pardot Kynes, Dune.

        Great men and women may not make history, but they can occasionally shape it. Whether for good or ill, heroes often define the culture around them, even if only as an inspirational myth. From those who forge empires, to those who crush them under heel, their actions are all around us.

        D&D is all about heroes, or at least heroics. While the default assumption of most campaigns is that the PCs will be the heroes, there’s always a need to come up with historical figures on the fly. To use this table, simply roll 4d8 and consult the table below.

1d8	What sort of life did they live before their rise?
1	The humdrum, average life of a commoner.
2	They were a member of the noble class, perhaps even royalty.
3	Surviving a lifetime of privation and poverty, they grew up on the edges of society.
4	They hail from a primitive culture. The ways of civilization were foreign to them.
5	Sequestered from the world in an abbey, temple, or other religious order.
6	One touched by destiny from the very beginning. Their birth was foretold in the stars.
7	A violent one. They were a soldier, bandit, or assassin.
8	No one knows.

1d8	What was their quest?
1	Bring about the death of some important figure.
2	Conquer or undo a nation or kingdom
3	Retrieve an item or artifact of great power to forestall some doom.
4	Destroy a cursed item or artifact.
5	Found a new dynasty.
6	Win a conflict.
7	Learn or identify a piece of world-shattering information.
8	A personal vendetta or mission which spins into one of great import.

1d8	What skills or abilities were they known for?
1	An uncanny ability to make friends and influence people.
2	Dexterous hands coupled with a cunning mind.
3	Truly awe-inspiring skill with various deadly implements.
4	Some special or deep secret of occult learning.
5	The favor of a divine or fell being, whether that be a demon lord or a god.
6	A seeming inability to be killed or deterred from their goals.
7	Knowledge of things to come. An unnerving prescience.
8	Pure dumb luck.

1d8	What happened to them?
1	No one knows. Some say they were just a myth.
2	Passed away from old age. They may even be a tomb or memorial.
3	Died in a great battle, surrounded by the bodies of their foes.
4	Their wounds from their quest caught up with them, and they expired while still young.
5	Captured by their enemies, they were executed publicly.
6	Suffering under a curse, they went mad in their search for a cure. They failed to find one.
7	Assassinated a few years after their adventures.
8	Disappeared one day, only stopping to promise they'd return when needed most.

Awful & Abhorrent Acts -- a Secrets Generator

 

“The secret to life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” - Grouch Marx

     Drama cannot exist without a disparity of knowledge. This can be accidental, in the case of misunderstandings or miscommunications. We’re not going to talk about that sort of drama. We’re going to talk about LIES. Most forms of deception are innocuous or personal in scale and won’t fall under the auspice of the table below, the kind of lies useful for writing are the sorts that ruin the life of those they are about, the kind which lead to duels, wars, or other kinds of dramatic happenings.

     To use this table, roll 4d8 and consult the table below.

1d8	What kind of information is being hidden?
1	A long-ranging conspiracy such as a coup, trade cartel, or criminal activity.
2	The details of the death(s) of someone or several people important or vital to the local community.
3	The truth of a mystical secret such as a hidden artifact, style of magic, or some arcane lore.
4	Knowledge of the resting place or prison of a being of world-shattering potency.
5	The true name of a being such as a fiend, celestial, archmage, or dragon.
6	The weakness or vulnerability to a fortress, castle, or other defensive structure.
7	Complex interpersonal drama; this can include infidelity, or matters of inheritance.
8	Something relatively insignificant. Mountains of lies have been told to protect it.

1d8	Who knows?
1	A single person or family line; e.g. a single woman per generation.
2	An entire family or tribe.
3	Some small group, such as the guards of a village, or a ruler’s closest companions.
4	Members of a secular organization such as a trade guild.
5	Members of a particular religious or arcane order.
6	The local elites, or the regional government.
7	Everybody knows. It is an open secret. It is uncouth to speak about openly.
8	Nobody. Everyone who had knowledge of the deception is dead.

1d8	Who’s looking?
1-3	A single individual, driven only by their own inscrutable motives.
4-5	A small group, such as a sworn brotherhood, or a group of elite conspirators.
6-7	A secular organization, such as a magistrate’s office, or a security force.
8	A secret society or some other clandestine group.

1d8	How well has it been kept?
1-2	Turns out, you can keep a secret without everyone being dead. No one knows besides those who are supposed to.
3-4	Some loose ends haven’t been swept up. Determined investigation could turn up some leads.
5-6	A number of clues have either escaped containment, or have simply been made public knowledge. Everyone seems to know a rumor or two.
7-8	It seems like the truth is right there, plain to see. No one has acted on it, why?

Blood-soaked Fields & Corpse-choked Rivers -- a Battlefield Generator

        “The battlefield is first and foremost horrible stenches, not sights, not sounds, but stenches. They don’t travel well into literature.” – Amos Oz

        The moans of the dying, and the screams of the wounded. The smell of rotting flesh, fresh spilled blood, and the pyres to burn the bodies. All the result of a clash of arms, whether that be a few squads squaring off against one another, or a full-blown set piece battle. No matter who wins, the crows will be fed.

      

          To use these tables, simply roll 5d8 and consult the results below

1d8	Where is it unfolding?
1	A body of water such as a river, lake, or swamp.
2	The cramped confines of a mountain pass or bluff.
3-6	A field, grassland, or some other form of open terrain.
7	A heavily wooded, forested or underbrush heavy area.
8	In the streets of a city, town, village, or other settled area.

1d8	What is being fought over?
1	Schism over faith or religion.
2	Dynastic or feudal conflict.
3	Border dispute between two polities.
4	Some long-running vendetta or some other form of hatred.
5	A misunderstanding or diplomatic blunder.
6	A ritual or another sort of cultural observation
7	Nothing. It is senseless, bloodthirsty violence.
8	Money, whether that be in the form of a raid, or a mercenary contract.

1d8 x 2	Who is fighting?
1	Levies, barely trained and equipped with shoddy gear.
2-3	Green troops, hungry to prove themselves.
4-5	Regulars. Hard-bitten troops, inured to the terror of battle.
6-7	Veterans. Dead-eyed killers equipped with personalized gear.
8	Elite troops, the pride of their people. Their morale and equipment is superior.

1d8	How’s the battle going?
1-2	One side has seized clear advantage and the battle has been reduced to a bloody rout as the losers retreat in disorder.
3-4	After hours of back and forth, one side has finally began to turn the tide. The losers are retreating in good order.
5-6	The commander of one of the belligerents has been slain. Negotiations for surrender may be occurring.
7-8	A brutal, grinding affair in which no side is able to overcome the other(s). Both sides are considering flight.